"Fast Five"

By: Matt Duncan
Coastal View News

You could probably imagine what it would be like if Vin Diesel fought Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Limbs and torsos would writhe and tangle. A lot of stuff would be broken. Things would happen that couldn’t possibly happen. And there would be an utter lack of sensible dialogue. Yet—and I am slightly embarrassed to say this—it would be fun to watch. And the same things can be said of “Fast Five”. This movie is well over the top. It’s absurd, actually. But in spite of this (or perhaps because of it), “Fast Five” is pretty enjoyable.

After years of running (or driving) afoul of the law, Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) is sentenced to prison. So, naturally, the absurdity—and enjoyment—begins when Toretto is (literally) busted out of a jail bus by Brian O’Connor (Paul Walker) and Mia (Jordana Brewster). The crew hightail it to Rio de Janeiro and lay low. That is, for a day or two. But before they have a moment to downshift, Toretto, O’Connor, and Mia are caught up in an ill-conceived heist that almost gets them killed, and does get three U. S. government agents killed.

Hence, the first miracle on the crew’s way to automotive un-sainthood is driving away from the smoldering wreckage that swallows up everyone else. Their second miracle—if they can pull it off—will be to elude the clutches of U. S. special agent Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson). Toretto, O’Connor and Mia are fast, but Hobbs and his heavy-hitting law enforcement thugs are right on their tail.

And then comes another twist. Toretto, O’Connor and Mia come across highly valuable information concerning the dealings of Reyes (Joaquim de Almeida), the kingpin of Rio’s drug-driven underbelly. Emboldened by a mix of self-righteousness and testosterone, the crew decides to use this information to lift Reyes’ ill-gotten treasure. They assemble a team—the best of the best—and hatch a scheme that would make Daniel Ocean proud. They face hardened criminals from one direction and single-minded law enforcement from another direction. They’re between The Rock and a hard place, so to speak. So, in order to get out, Toretto, O’Connor, Mia and their newly formed gang have to do what they do best: put the pedal to the metal.

What “Fast Five” lacks in brains it (almost) makes up for in brawn. Although this movie lacks a smart screenplay, it’s okay, because there is not enough talking in the movie to make the dialogue noticeably irritating. Although the acting is often tough to watch, the actors hardly ever are. And although the plot is a bit shaky and chaotic, it’s fairly easy to be distracted to forgetfulness by the high-octane action and special effects.

In the end, I don’t quite know what I want from a movie like “Fast Five”. I suspect that those who love this genre, and who particularly love the previous “Fast” movies, will be very happy with this movie. I also suspect that those who cannot stand movies with a lot of senseless action, nature-bending stunts and little else, will be dissatisfied with or at least indifferent to “Fast Five”. But there is probably also a borderline class of moviegoers who are open-minded about being bombarded with absurd action, and I think that even some of those people will like “Fast Five”. This is no doubt the mark of this movie’s success.