Coastal View News
Here I am, going to a Jason Bateman movie all by myself late
at night, thinking, “Ooh, a Jason Bateman movie, that ought to be funny.” And
then I see it is about some sort of gift. “Oh, that sounds nice.”
I was wrong. “The Gift” is not funny. It is not nice. And as
I roamed a dark, empty parking structure late at night searching for my car
after seeing this infernal movie, my thought was rather, “What have I done.”
I got my first sense that I was in for it, not when I was
introduced to Simon (Jason Bateman) and his wife, Robyn (Rebecca Hall)—no, they
are as charming as ever, and appear to be happy, well adjusted, rich, and doing
exciting things—but rather, I got my first sense of trouble when I heard the
eerie, creepy score that constantly reminded me of just how many corners there
are where awfulness itself could pop out and get me. Then, when Simon and Robyn
buy a house with oodles of giant windows—you know, those things that creepy
people can stare at you through late at night—I knew I was a goner.
To back up just a bit, Simon and Robyn are a happy couple
who move to California to start new careers. One day while at the mall they run
into Gordon (Joel Edgerton)—aka “Gordo”—who, after a few awkward moments, is
able to remind Simon that they went to high school together. It is a very perplexing
interaction, but they end up getting Gordo’s phone number and promise to catch
up later.
But Gordo catches up with them sooner rather than later. He
shows up at their house one day and leaves them a gift—a bottle of wine and a
“welcome to the neighborhood” note. How nice. Then he comes back another day
with another gift, and yet another day with yet another gift. Simon isn’t home,
so Gordo is mostly interacting with Robyn. But he seems nice, albeit a tad
awkward. And so Robyn invites him to dinner.
Robyn is fine with Gordo. Simon is not. Simon is creeped
out. This seems semi-warranted. On the one hand, Gordo is a tad bit odd. On the
other hand, he is also generous and nice, and has done nothing to suggest he
wants anything but to be friends with Simon and Robyn. Really it is the degree to which Simon is standoffish
that seems out of place. In other circumstances Simon is this very warm,
understanding, Jason Bateman-ish kind of guy. But around Gordo he is
uncharitable and impatient.
It turns out there is more to Simon and Gordo’s past than
Simon let on. It seems Simon was not always such a sweetheart. We are not
talking axe murderer type stuff—more like man he was a real jerk kind of stuff.
Less Freddy Kruger; more Biff from “Back to the Future”. At any rate, as
tension between Simon and Gordo begins to escalate, you lose sight of who the
bad guy is. You feel bad for Robyn, who is stuck in the middle, but it is hard
to sort out who else is a victim and who is a perpetrator.
Here are some things that are much clearer: Jason Bateman is
a good actor; you shouldn’t buy a house made of giant windows; Jason Bateman
can definitely pull off being a jerk, but he will never shake his habit of calling
everyone ‘buddy’; if you watch “The Gift” by yourself late at night, make sure
you know where your car is parked.
I don’t know whether I liked “The Gift”, and I don’t know
whether it is a good movie. I do know it made me feel very uncomfortable. The
whole time. And I know that’s how the director wanted me to feel. But to what
end? This is an honest question, not an complaint. This movie reminds me of the
ghost stories that my brothers used to tell me (which rarely involved ghosts).
Why, oh why, did I torture myself by listening? I couldn’t tell you. All I know
is, I did listen, and with rapt attention, and I never turned down an
opportunity to hear more—I would even ask
for more—and it was always awful, and never good for my psychological well
being.
Did I like these stories? Not exactly. But still, something
glued my butt to the seat.
